1. Mean Girls

Director: Mark Waters (2004)
Starring: Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams, Lacey Chabert
Find it: IMDB

My favourite ever Lindsay Lohan movie. Even more favourite than I Know Who Killed Me, and we all know how much I love I Know Who Killed Me. What, wait, I have a favourite Lindsay Lohan movie? Ugh.

In Mean Girls, Lindsay Lohan plays a girl called Cady, who basically lives the life of The Wild Thornberries with her dad, who is the Janitor from Scrubs. Cady is homeschooled, which is a thing close to my heart, since I too was homeschooled (although if you call it "homeschooling" then you're doing it wrong, because "homeschooling/homeschooled" isn't gramatically correct. It's "home educated". Maybe you should be in a school after all, since your home is shit). As a home educated child, I knew lots of other home educated children, and I can safely say that home educated children do not look like Lindsay Lohan. Home educated children look like me. And occasionally like an underage hermaphrodite looking version of the Cat Lady from The Simpsons.

After her parents decide to make a go of living in a city, they get rid of Cady and enrol her in school. Cady being brought up in a jungle becomes relevant here see, because it turns out that whilst Cady knows full well the laws of the jungle, she knows feck all about school life. Mean Girls is basically how it went when I turned up at college after 17 years of being weird and dreadlocky. Except, unlike Lindsay Lohan, I did not become one of the popular kids and I did not make out with a hunky boy. Shame.

Cady soon falls in with "the plastics", lead by Regina (McAdams). The Plastics are cool and hot and rule the school. Cady initially joins The Plastics so as to infiltrate and subvert the group or whatever, but eventually becomes as bad as the rest of them. Regina meanwhile, is hit by a bus, at which I laughed my testicles off. As movies from my sister's DVD collection go, Mean Girls is probably the best. The screenplay was written by Tina Fey, so is littered with witticisms and dialogue so bitchy it can't help but raise a smile.

I like Mean Girls without shame. It's funny, it's clever and yes, well acted. Girlfriend, Mean Girls is my favourite Lindsay Lohan movie.


  1. I really like what you're doing here. 31 Days of non-horror (which sometimes these films a more of a horror to us than the real thing) is a cool idea. I'll be reading 'em all.

  2. Thank you. You're too kind. I worry myself how much I like some of these films. Turns out I have really bad taste in non-genre stuff....

  3. Yeah, same here. The list of films I watched in the last two years is atrocious... but I don't always give bad reviews. I'll watch something like Suburban Commando with Hulk Hogan and totally dig it... or Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo or Shallow Hal. I love those two flicks for some insane reason.

  4. Ah, I have a real weakness for Rob Schneider movies. My favourite being Big Stan, his martial arts anti-man rape comedy.

  5. I just saw him in "The Chosen One" where he plays this down and out loser alcoholic car salesman who takes in some monks and a woman claiming him to be... uhh, well, the chosen one. Steve Buscemi plays his brother (who's an actual monk in the movie, and gets totally jealous of what just happened). It's a weird movie, but yeah, I too share that fondness for Teh Rob. Both the Robs actually.