Yes, you too can stink like shitty Kevin Smith dialogue.
She is really saying that Batman gave her eleven orgasms. And yes, my mind assumed that wearing Dark Knight would give me the ability to satisfy women too. It doesn't exactly say that, but he bumf on the packaging reads that Dark Knight smells "like fruit" and contains cinnamon and water. Can't say I'd pictured Batman smelling at all fruity or of cinnamon and water, but hey, maybe that's why all the ladies like him. I was also a little disappointed by the lack of a real glass bottle inside. There's just a little plastic squirty bottle with a picture of Batman on it. Still, ever the optimist, I gave it a go.Also vomit inducing: my face. Sorry about that
At first, Dark Knight is pleasantly sweet and fruity. Not at all bad. A bit like water and cinnamon. And then it kicks in and it is all bad and it doesn't let up. Dark Knight smells like sweet piss. Dark Knight made me smell like a paedophile. It made my shirt smell so bad that I had to walk around for 3 hours in -2 temperature wearing a t-shirt. Dark Knight smells - well, like you'd imagine how Chris O' Donnell's Robin might have smelled, or, at a push, like Adam West's boudoir. Dark Knight is Joel Schumacher's favourite cologne. Grant Morrisson was probably definitely high on the fumes of Dark Knight when he wrote Batman RIP and that time travel thing that I don't understand. It makes even less sense that they put the Christian Bale iteration of Batman on the bottle. If Christian Bale smelled like that shit, nobody would take him seriously, sound man or otherwise. Dark Knight is literally the second-worst thing I have ever stunk of. Just behind that one time in a nightclub when I vomited all over myself. It's not even suitable for children. If my child wore Dark Knight, I'd lock him in a fucking shed. Because I'm not done thinking up punchlines yet: Dark Knight makes comic book fanboys smell worse than they already do.
Someone, I think, is telling porkies. No prize for spotting the lie in the below headline: