[Portrait of the author having just killed JAWS]

Now then, silly fucker.  What's with this 'Porkhead' business?
It's a thing that I invented when I was thirteen. Where my best mate stopped calling himself 'Chickenbutt' when he reached puberty, I remained an idiot.

Why the emphasis  on horror movies?
I love horror movies. They can be scary, funny, silly, sexy, stupid, clever, good, great, shit or bollocks. They're very versatile in that respect and truly, the best genre of them all. 

Yes, but why review them?
Those who can’t, review. One day, I fully intend to make a shitty horror film of my own. Until then, I’ll bitch about other people’s. It’s a genre I’m passionate about.

What’s your favourite scary movie?
Finally, a good question.  Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead, possibly. Or maybe The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (original version, obviously).

Do you like anything that isn’t horror?
You bet. I enjoy movies of all genres. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs was fucking awesome, for instance.  And Enchanted makes me feel all bubbly inside.

[Portrait of the author looking like a silly tossbag]

Do you have to swear so much?
Porkhead’s Horror Review Hole contains a lot of bad language. And I’m not talking about double-negatives, motherfucker.

Do you accept screeners?
Yes. But be warned, I take ages to watch them, and I’ll only review it if I can think of something to say. 

How does your rating system work?
Look to your right. I prefer the sweary Screaming Scream Queen method. Unlike people who know what they're doing, my reviews are based on how much I enjoyed a movie as opposed to its technical merits. They're entirely subjective. So it's not too out there that, say, a film about Meat Loaf and a tiger could earn itself 5/5 Screamers.

How can I get in touch?
You can e-mail me, comment on something, or find me on facebook or twitter.

For some really Infrequently Asked Questions, I did Final Girl's bloggennaire once, and was Maynard Morrissey's Horror Blogger Of The Month.