SHARK WEEK: My favourite TV & Movie Sharks

The Discovery Channel are doing their yearly "shark week" thing, although every other programme seems to be about sharks on that channel anyway. I suppose this means that there just won't be any programmes about Nazis about to interrupt the shark documentaries. Nevertheless, this lazy hack writer smells a list coming on. Twilighters beware, there will be no Taylor Lautner on this list. At least not until he gets his head bitten off by a Great White.

10. Batman vs Shark - Batman: The Movie

9. Shark - Shark.

8. The Shark that Eats Samuel Motherfucking L Jackson - Deep Blue Motherfucking Sea.

7. Bruce the Shark - Finding Nemo. I'm running out here. Determined not to resort to Shark Tale though.

6. Hammerhead - Spider-man. I'm not entirely sure that having a really flat head is a super power as such, but y'know.

5. That one good joke in My Super Ex Girlfriend

4. Sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads - Austin Powers

3. Mega Shark - Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus

2. Shark vs Zombie - Zombi 2. An outstanding movie idea in its own right, relegated to one minor scene in a movie that was itself pretty good anyway. Wasted idea though.

1. Jaws - Jaws. Obviously. Happy Shark Week, if such a thing exists and doesn't sound stupid. It does, doesn't it? Sound stupid, that is. Well happy Shark Week, anyway.


  1. Can I take a moment to say how much I adore Deep Blue Motherfucking Sea? It's genius. And not just the sharks... but the casting of Sam Jackson and LL Cool J. Genius.

  2. Deep Blue Sea is a gem. But don't forget about Thomas Jane. I love me some Tom Jane.