Director: John Lechago (2010)
Starring: Trent Haaga, Victoria De Mare, Al Burke
Find it: IMDB
It's Killjoy - but with production values! "Here," says producer Charles Band to the franchise, "buy yourself something nice," handing them more than a tenner for this sequel. "You have to put white people in this one, though." And so Killjoy returns, transformed (from whatever it was before) into your more traditional, slick American slasher film. His victims this time are a student house full of kids who look like either Ashton Kutcher or Anna Kendrick, plus obligatory black friend.
This time, however, Killjoy has brought buddies. You get not one but four killer clowns for your buck, in the shape of Batty Boop (De Mare), Punchy the Hobo Clown (Burke) and Freakshow the Mime (Tai Chan Ngo), who look pretty great and have fairly amusing names. Frustrated by not having anyone to kill, the clowns decide to bring the mountain to Mohammed by sending them a magic mirror, kidnapping the kids while they watch a Puppetmaster sequel.
Killjoy has always had more of a Freddy Krueger vibe to him than a Pennywise one, and this three-quel finally goes all the way with its nightmare-like fantasy sequences and wisecracking villain. There's even a sequence in which one of the kids' bodies lies, struggling on the floor while his mind is murdered in a dream world. Unfortunately, Haaga is more Jim Carrey as The Mask than Robert Englund as Krueger, coming across more as annoying than scary. Even Freddy's Dead era Englund knew when to dial it back. Trent Haaga has no such restraint, fart gags and all. His buddies fare better - mostly because two of them know when to keep their mouth shut and Batty Boo isn't in it enough to irritate quite so much. The mime, meanwhile, is legitimately terrifying. If only Killjoy himself had been so silent.
But if you're too dumb to either eat or spit out a literal apple
You deserve to get fuckin' basted.