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August Underground


Director: Fred Vogel (2001)
Starring: Fred Vogel, Ann Marie Reveruzzi
Find it online: Oh, I wouldn't recommend that. IMDB, official site

Actually, and without hyperbole, the most vomit-inducing thing I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen Twilight. But enough of the obligatory Twi-shite bashing, because after viewing August Underground you’ll be begging for the PG-13 safeness of sparkly vampires and suchlike. You’ll also not want to be eating for a while. Also, there's no actual score for this movie, because I couldn't watch it all. I'm writing this review from in the shower, where I've been cowering since yesterday morning.

It’s like Cloverfield meets the Blair Witch Project, only the antagonists are directing the viewfinder, and CloverZilla didn’t have a thing for faeces. August Underground is, hands down, the most sickening thing ever - although there are a couple of sequels out there, which are reportedly even worse. Because they just couldn't fit enough coprophilia into one movie.

With no timewasting to begin, the movie introduces us straight away to the bad guys and their victim. She’s bound, gagged and nuddy in a desolated farmhouse, surrounded by buckets of her own shit and piss. Did I mention she’s missing a nipple and has a bit of her boyfriend taped in her mouth? The torturers wind her up for a bit; emptying a bucket of (probably) pee-pee over her head and doling out yet more abuse to the poor thing.

Yes, bondage fans, she's all tied up. But if you manage to get a boner during August Underground, you have impressive dedication to the cause. Also, you're giving the rest of us a bad name.

The rest of the movie follows the two serial killers as they drive around America boning hookers and murdering unsuspecting innocents. The gore and grue isn’t particularly realistic, but it has a homemade effect that makes it more harrowing and disturbing than you’d find in one of Eli Roth’s hostels. It was filmed on what looks like cheap-ass video, which really brings out the realism. It wears you down quickly and never lets up. Every so often, they return to the torture basement action, which is where things are at their hardest to watch. I gave up watching at exactly the point where the kidnappee was forced to eat her own poopies.

Like the strangely more infamous Grotesque and Guinea Pig movies, this is a difficult movie to review. Its lack of plot and structure and breaking of the fourth wall suggest that it’s meant to be taken as a piece of transgressive performance art rather than entertainment. It works for what it is, and does that extremely well. Another superlative for you: August Underground is the least entertaining movie I’ve ever seen. If you’re like me, you’ll want to try this simply because of its infamy. It’s unenjoyable on nearly every level, but is a great addition for those who like to “collect” infamous nasties. Everyone else, meanwhile, should read the following opinion for a more balanced view:

Ladies & Gentlemen, please be upstanding for our guest reviewer: The Thoroughly Outraged Ghost of Mary Whitehouse:

I didn't watch this movie but you're all sick for even acknowledging its existence. It's pieces of cinema like Underground August that are responsible for the moral degredation of the world today.

Anyone who watches this filth should be put on a register of some sort. September Downstairs should definitely be banned and you should be chemically castrated and banned from life. Down with this sort of thing.

Thanks Mary. If anyone out there managed to watch it all the way through, drop me a comment or so. I'd love to hear your opinions.

2 comments:

  1. Did anyone else notice that this movie features only fat and flabby people?

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  2. I made it through this movie and only a little bit of the second. That's right. There is a freaking second and THIRD August Underground. Just, no. August Underground is the worst thing I have ever seen and not because it's sick; it's shoddy. We all get the point, Fred. It's been made by far better filmmakers. Even sick has been done better.

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