And Soon the Darkness

Director: Marcos Efron (2010)

Starring: Amber Heard, Odette Yustman, Karl Urban

Find it: IMDB

A whole movie predicated around Amber Heard and Odette Yustman being in their bikinis. And Soon the Darkness is a Turistas remake of a British thriller from the 1970s. Most remakes are pointless, but the 1970s version of this didn't have Amber Heard and Odette Yustman in bikinis. If you're not inclined towards enjoying Heard & Yustman in bikinis then consider your enjoyment lessened. By The Elder Gods, I actively enjoy Heard & Yustman in their bikinis and even I was bored.

During a cycling holiday in Argentina, Stephanie (Heard) and Ellie (Yustman) start bickering about blokes. When Stephanie storms off, Ellie is kidnapped. With the help of Karl Urban, Stephanie sets about tracking her friend down. It has some good actors, but And Soon the Darkness is not a good movie. I would call it predictable, but there are only two or three plot points to predict.

Amber Heard and Karl Urban are usually good, but the movie must have been an off-day for them both. Heard looks completely lost, whilst Urban mumbles a lot. Thankfully he has the sort of face that looks intense all the time, naturally elevating his crappy surroundings. There's nothing for either of them to do until Heard gets herself kidnapped too. I won't insult your intelligence by labelling that a spoiler.

It's exploitative rubbish really, people hoping that you'll come for the half-naked heroines but stay for their crappy horror story. Well, you've already paid by that point. As soon as its heroines get dressed, all colour drains out of the film. Nothing to see here, move on. And Soon the Darkness. Indeed, I turned the TV off.