Starring: Bill Goldberg, Douglas Smith, Emilie De Ravin
Find it online: IMDB
The rest of the movie isn’t so great, but it’s worth it for the delightfully ridiculous opening sequence alone (recapped so much better on the excellent I-Mockery) in which he sets fire to a girl’s head and murders James Caan with a turkey drumstick.
According to a cute little animated montage, our Santa Claus is actually a murderous demon who lost a bet to an angel, and was forced to spend the next millennium delivering toys to children instead of killing them. The story picks up just after the end of that millennium. As you might have gathered, Santa is back to his old killing ways.
Enter our protagonists, the horribly named Nicolas Yuleson and a girl called Mac (Emilie De Ravin – only slightly less annoying than usual). Because of some silly Deus Ex Machina or something, Santa wants to kill them dead. But obviously, none of this is important. The main bulk of the movie simply has Santa wandering around the kids’ small village town murdering everyone in sight, in increasingly stupid and hilarious ways. Later scenes see Santa flying round on his sled, driven by “hell deer” and targeting innocent vicars. No-one is safe from Santa’s wrath, not even strippers or Jewish shopkeepers.