04 November 2009

Prom Night (1980)


Director: Paul Lynch (1980)
Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Leslie Nielsen, Casey Stevens
Find it online: IMDB, Amazon UK, Amazon US

The other slasher movie to star a virginal Jamie Lee Curtis and lots of horny teenagers getting laid and dead, Prom Night will certainly come as a surprise to those who only have its remake as a reference point. Sure, both movies take place on a prom night and have teenagers getting themselves stabbed, but the two nights couldn’t be any more different.

They’re both terrible movies, but at least 1980’s Prom Night has the good grace to be enjoyable in its sheer awfulness. Things start off in a creepy enough manner. A bunch of brat ratbastard kids are playing a variation on hide-and-seek (“the killer is coming”) in a dilapidated old house, when 10 year old Robin Hammond turns up and ruins their game. The little bastards turn on poor Robin and bully her until she falls out of a window and splatters herself everywhere. In true I Know What You Did… style, the kids cover up their death and seemingly get off scot free, blaming it all on an innocent rapist.

In a bit of synchronicity, the six-year anniversary of Robin’s death coincides with the school prom night and the rapist’s escape from prison. Sister Kim has grown up to be Jamie Lee Curtis, and brother Alex has gone a bit strange. The movie also stars Leslie Nielsen in one of his ‘serious’ roles, as the kids’ dad. It becomes apparent that someone knows Robin’s murderers’ secret, and is planning on wreaking themselves some revenge. But who? Could it be the wronged rapist? A vengeful relative? The pervy groundskeeper? Or even Robin Resurrected?

Whoever it is, they’re a lazy-arse killer, since no-one gets killed until well over an hour in. Up till then, much of the screen time is devoted to sleazy eyeballing of the female cast and crank phone calls ripped off’ve Black Christmas. Once the prom gets going, there’s also an overlong dance sequence that reminds of Grease/Saturday Night Fever, mixed with a bit of Carrie. Only with a whole bunch of promiscuous ‘teenage’ shagging. Well, there’s a lot of shagging, but I seriously doubt any of the kids were of high school age (Curtis was 22 when this movie was made). Of all the boning and boobies, my favourite bit involved a chubby guy, his girlfriend and a camper van, although there’s plenty to choose from. A bit more sleaze wouldn’t have gone amiss in the remake.

So the killer finally shows up, but things are still pretty dumb. All the ingredients are primed for a scary slasher icon, but Prom Night can’t pull it off. He (or maybe she, as we’re led to believe) has a nice Giallo inspired look going on, but is ultimately as inept as the Scary Movie killer. The glittery balaclava just isn’t a good look; and consistent uselessness doesn’t exactly inspire confidence. The final fight is a joke, as are most of the kills. My favourite involved the same chubby guy, girlfriend and camper van mentioned in the paragraph above. Its climax makes me smile every time.

Prom Night is ridiculously stupid, but it’s also a hard film to dislike. There’s a general air of eccentricity going on, certainly aided by the casting of Leslie Nielsen. You can really see how he went on to become such a star in the spoof genre. Watching him doing a bit of Dad Dancing at the prom with onscreen daughter Jamie Lee just feels so… right. Prom Night occasionally feels like a spoof movie in its own right. I’m not sure whether that’s because of Nielsen or simply because it’s such a silly flick.

It’s worth watching if you’re a fan of 80s’ slasher movies, and even more so if you like it with an extra helping of cheese.



3/5 screaming Scream Queens!!!

31 October 2009

Halloween: a series retrospective


We (well, I) love to celebrate Halloween here at the horror review hole. And what better way than to review each and every Halloween - from John Carpenter's original masterpice, right up to this year's Rob Zombie sequel - back-to-back??

Halloween - "More than your average sleazy, stupid slasher movie - so well executed that it transcended its boundaries to become widely and rightfully acknowledged as one of the greatest horror movies ever made"

Halloween II - "The original Halloween sequel to not suck and be set in a hospital"

Halloween III: Season of the Witch - "The one where nobody comes home"

Halloween IV: The Return of Michael Myers - "a strong, above average entry to the series. A welcome return from a true horror icon."

Halloween V: Michael Myers' Revenge - "not really worth seeking out unless you're desperate or a completist. Or a desperate completist"

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers - "The one with Paul Rudd vs Michael"

Halloween: H20 -"One of the better sequels, H20 wisely ignores all of the stupid continuity issues that gathered up over the course of Halloweens 4-6 and gets on with telling a good old-fashioned slasher story"

Halloween: Resurrection - "The Batman & Robin of slasher movies, but with no Nolans around to repair it afterwards"

Halloween (2007) - "Worse than the stupidest of the Halloween sequels (yes, even more so than kung-fu Busta Rhymes), Zombie brings us irrefutable proof that he's a bad director even when working with other people's material"

Halloween 2 (2009) - "surprise surprise, this one's actually somewhat slightly good"


Happy Halloween!

Halloween (1978)


Director: John Carpenter (1978)
Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Donald Pleasence, PJ Soles, Nancy Loomis
Find it online: IMDB, Amazon UK, Amazon US

Haddonfield, Illinois. Young Michael Myers murders his family with a knife that’s as sizeable as it is sharp. Deciding that he’s evil, the doctors lock the kid up in a mental institution for the rest of his days. Or at least, they try to. All growed up, Michael Myers affects himself an escape and returns back to Haddonfield. Doctor Blofeld (Donald Pleasence) sets out hunting down his evil ex-patient, all the while telling everyone he meets just how evil Michael is. Back at Myers’ childhood home, nubile babysitter Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) is looking after wee tot Tommy Doyle (who’d grow up to be friend-of-a-Friend Paul Rudd in H6). But as she’s soon to find out, Michael is pretty intent on murderising her.

Obviously, you knew that already. You don’t have to be a horror fan to like John Carpenter’s Halloween, which is the beauty of it. It’s more than your average sleazy, stupid slasher movie. It’s an exercise in tension, so well executed that it transcended its boundaries to become widely and rightfully acknowledged as one of the greatest horror movies ever made.

Inspired by Alfred Hitchcock’s masterful Psycho and a few lesser slasher movies (such as the mightily underrated Black Christmas), Carpenter delivers what many would call the perfect slasher movie – one which has been often imitated but rarely bettered. Everything from the iconic theme tune down to his framing and use of the Shape’s POV is brilliantly done. Like the similarly influential Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the gore is sparse. The violence comes in bursts. But you know all this already, don’t you??

The casting is perfect. A young Jamie Lee Curtis appeals as babysitter Laurie, and PJ Soles brings her boobies to the proceedings. whilst Blofeld himself is a great foil for Michael. For a bit of synchromisticist fun*, note this: Donald Pleasence’s Blofeld directly inspired the Austin Powers movies’ Dr. Evil… played in turn by one Mike Myers. In this movie, Loomis faces off against Michael Myers. Coincidence? Yes. Look, shut up. I’m just trying to be semi-original here. D'you know how many people have reviewed Halloween over the years??

If there is a fault with Halloween (and horror-reviewing conventions requires me to say that there isn't) then it’s down to the many imitations that've come out since. Being one of the original slasher templates, the movie might feel slow and predictable to first-time viewers. You won’t have a hard time guessing what’s coming next, due to the fact that so many other works have done it so many times since. But such is the case with so many other significant works – such is the peril of being so influential. Still, Halloween stands up extremely well for a film of its age. Michael Myers is still an effective bogeyman – Carpenter largely hides him in the shadows and uses him wisely – and the tension is still expertly cranked. Anyone who ignores this seminal piece of work simply because of its age doesn’t deserve to be calling themselves a horror fan anyway.

5/5 screaming Scream Queens!!!


* The word ‘fun’ is used here in a highly subjective context, and may not actually be fun.

Halloween 2 (1981)


Director: Rick Rosenthal (1981)
Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Donald Pleasence
Find it online: IMDB, Amazon UK, Amazon US

The original Halloween sequel to not suck and be set in a hospital, Rick Rosenthal's Halloween II always faced something of an uphill struggle. How does one follow up what is widely regarded as one of the greatest slasher movies of all time? Well, the man himself didn’t really bother, leaving the relatively inexperienced Rick Rosenthal to carry on in his wake (although he did help on writing duties).

Like most sequels, Halloween II delivers up a hefty helping of more of the same, albeit with more gore and a higher bodycount. We return to the action mere moments after the first film ends. Laurie is off to hospital. Doc Loomis is still hunting for Michael Myers after shooting him six times and dropping him off a balcony. Dude’s the original 50 Cent (ah, but if only Curtis J was as silent as Michael). Michael gives him the slip and heads off to the hospital where he hopes to get all stabby with the already traumatised Laurie. Good luck with that, Mike. It’d take him a further twenty-odd years to finally get around to killing Laurie. So he might fail to kill Laurie, but he manages to off plenty of unsuspecting hospital staffers over the course of the movie.

So all the original surviving players are back. Jamie Lee Curtis is a bit too jumpy and traumatised this time around, robbing Michael somewhat of what could’ve been a great showdown. As before, Donald Pleasence’s Doc Loomis is the best of the bunch, obviously having a good time with the role and really selling himself as a badass psychiatrist completely obsessed with hunting down his most dangerous patient.

One thing that Halloween II does bring is the big revelation that Laurie and Michael are related. It’s a nice little twist, and really adds to the characters’ dynamic in a powerful way. There are very few franchises that manage to make two characters just fit in the way Halloween does; watch Resurrection or some of the lesser sequels to see just how pointless it all feels. Michael hunts down Laurie because, without her, he has nothing better to do.

Of course, Halloween II isn’t in the same league as its predecessor, but it never really could be. Michael’s given too much screentime, and the whole thing just seems a bit pointless and redundant – a rehash of earlier goings on, only set in a hospital. But it isn’t nearly as bad as many of the other imitators out there, either – or even its own subsequent sequels and remakes.

4/5 screaming Scream Queens!!!

Halloween 3: Season of the Witch


Director: Tommy Lee Wallace (1982)
Starring: Tom Atkins, Stacey Nelkin, Dan O' Herlihy
Find it online: IMDB, Amazon UK, Amazon US

No Michael Myers in this one, but plenty of Tom Atkins, which is a pretty fair trade-off. Maybe the upcoming Halloween 3D (Hallow3Dn? Betcha) will try and adapt Season of the Witch with an aged Atkins in the lead. Hm, perhaps not.

If Season of the Witch had been a better movie than it turned out to be, then maybe fans wouldn’t have been so offended at the lack of Michael in this movie. But, it’s shoddy stuff all around, so people were offended, and thoroughly hated the movie.

Having said that, it’s nowhere near as bad as Resurrection or 2007’s Zombieween. The plot, admittedly, does sound like it should have Robin Williams involved somewhere. An evil mask-making company is building nasty kids’ latex masks which kill the wearer by melting their faces whenever a certain TV advert shows (a positively epileptic image of a flashing pumpkin). It’s up to Doctor Dan Challis (Atkins) to save America’s kids from the evil Silver Shamrock company. Because nothing says Halloween like a shamrock.

Tom Atkins is awesome, which you already knew, whilst the story, shocks and overall style is in keeping with Carpenter’s aesthetic. It’s a lesser sequel, to be sure, and probably doesn’t deserve to be a Halloween title, but is definitely worth a watch sometime. Ultimately, your enjoyment of this movie will depend on your stomach for cheesy, naff 80s' horror. It's not as if it did any lasting damage, anyway - the Shape was back a few years later in his Return, which ended up being one of the better sequels.

And Season's tagline -the night no-one comes home - makes me smile every time.

2/5 screaming Scream Queens!!!