Evil Dead (2013)

Director: Fede Alvarez (2013)
Starring: Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Lou Taylor Pucci
Find it: IMDB

Boo hoo, another horror remake. Yes, but a halfway decent one, this time.

Evil Dead is the most terrifying film you will ever experience, apparently. Not really, but it's an experience, all the same. A remake of a highly regarded horror classic directed by the great Sam Raimi and starring the greatest Bruce Campbell, Evil Dead faced an uphill struggle from the start. With the fans rallying against his remake and clamouring for an Evil Dead 4, director Fede Alvarez was in an unenviable position. Despite my being an enormous fan of Raimi's Evil Dead trilogy, I was more open to the idea of this remake than most. Well, The Hills Have Eyes remake is one of my favourite horror movies of all time, so it would be a tad hypocritical of me to whine about remakes now, wouldn't it?

Alvarez ships his own group of pretty teenagers out to a little cabin in the woods, where Mia (Levy) is trying to kick her drug addiction. Also present - her estranged brother (Fernandez) and supportive but hippyish friends. Not present - Bruce Campbell or Ash. But this film didn't need them. It needed space to be it's own thing.

Another question on everyone's lips: can I struggle through this review without calling the film 'groovy'? Probably not, but I'll try. From beginning to end, it's a non-stop gore rollercoaster, full of incredible violence and beautiful mayhem. Evil Dead might be the most violent cinema release of all time. It's certainly the bloodiest. Limbs are torn off, dogs brutally murdered, tongues slit and bodies punctured with all manner of torture instrument. Best seen at the cinema, the screening which I attended was packed full of terrified gasps and shuddering. A press screening for Starburst Magazine (my classier review can be read here), bottles of beer and whole pizzas were handed out for free before the film. I can think of no movie less suited to having stuffed your face beforehand. Perhaps the publicists were hoping somebody would throw up or something - that always does wonders for a horror film's credibility.

Nobody chundered at the screening I attended, but everyone seemed to enjoy it. And for good reason: Evil Dead is a success. Like most remakes, it struggles a little to justify its own existence, but the constant onslaught of gore and violence will win over a great deal of horrorhounds - myself included. There's an obvious reverence for the original, and a lot of winks and nods in that general direction. Occasionally it gets a little too much - just do your own thing already! But largely, it works. Others won't be swayed (especially what with the dodgy script, bad acting and silly twist towards the end) but it's easier to watch than most horror remakes. Oh, and be sure to say in your seat after the credits roll, for the motherlode of all treats*.

Alright, I'll bite: it may not be the "most terrifying film you'll ever experience" (not even close) and nor is it as good as the original, but Evil Dead 2013 is groovy as hell.

*May not be an actual motherlode.

I got an Iphone. Also, reviews.

Less a set of reviews and more an excuse to brag about the fact that I bought an Iphone this week, joining the masses just like Commander Riker in that episode of Star Trek where everyone gets addicted to a fancy Nintendo except Wesley Crusher. I wish I could say that I was brainwashed into it, but I always wanted an Iphone, just never had the money for it. Well this week, I also got made redundant, and with that came an obscenely large redundancy package. It's like getting paid to quit a job I hated. With that money, I bought an Iphone.

Being a horror idiot, the first two things I did were to download some Friday The Thirteenth wallpaper and then type 'Evil Dead' into an apps search. They do have an app for that, as it happens. Two apps; Evil Dead and Army Of Darkness.

Ash has never looked so cute as he does in the Evil Dead game, with speech bubbles and a wee bobble head. The interface takes some getting used to, using your thumbs to both move Ash and aim his boomstick. Even after an hour or so of playing, I found myself screwing up with some regularity. Better is the axe and chainsaw. Ash doesn't just have Deadites to worry about, but evil trees, bitey plants and angry monks too. There are two story modes - the plot of the first Evil Dead film and then something called 'winter'. Which is a sequel set in the snow and with evil monks trying to kill you and steal the Necronomicon. I'd rather they just did the plot of Evil Dead II, but this weird sequel is fun enough. For something under £3, Evil Dead is well worth a playthrough. Although Bruce Campbell doesn't do any voice effects, which is a shame. Especially when one considers that the game is marketed as official.

Army Of Darkness is both free and a lot more addictive than Evil Dead. It's a side-scrolling bit in which you have to defend your castle against an army of the dead. In addition to Ash, you can call upon soldiers to help you, as well as other characters from the film. It's repetitive but incredibly addictive. Even better, it uses soundbytes from the movie and has you twatting skeletons with a chainsaw hand. Where I may never play Evil Dead again, I possibly will never stop playing Army Of Darkness. For a mobile phone game, it has better graphics than the movie itself. You earn coins by holding back the hordes of Deadites; coins which you spend on upgrades and troops. You can buy a pit to throw the monsters in and when Ash shouts "klaatu, barada... necktie" a little necktie appears around his neck. The game is full of nice wee touches like that.

It's getting to the stage where I get angry whenever someone calls or texts me. Damn reality, getting in the way of my Evil Deadding.