Director: Darren Lynn Bousman (2006)
Starring: Tobin Bell, Shawnee Smith, Bahar Soomekh
Find it online: IMDB, Amazon UK, Amazon US

Hoping to buy himself a few more hours of valuable whingeing time, Jigsaw kidnaps a doctor lady (Soomekh) and forces her to perform brain surgery. Meanwhile, a man that looks like Zach Galifianakis but isn't finds himself locked in a grotty underground maze. Down there, Jigsaw hopes to force him to let go of past demons and stuff. But little does anyone know, the whole thing is an elaborate scheme
concocted by the big man himself to play at Alan Sugar. Saw III is essentially The Apprentice: The Movie, as the "big twist" is revealed that the whole thing is actually Amanda's final test. Except that instead of being fired she gets shot by Zach Galifianakis. Who (SPOILER) isn't actually in this movie. He's just really fat and has a beard and my brain can only handle one fat bearded man at a time.

Nowhere is my biggest problem with Jigsaw more evident than Saw III. Here his big life lessons are being taught to Geoff - a man still mourning his son. Apparently 'Saw finds mourning distasteful, because Geoff needs teaching to move on. Just piss off, already. Don't you have dolphins to swim with? Still, Saw III ties up enough loose ends and plot points to justify its existence and bring the story to a natural close.

Or so one might think. There's a further 3 (?) more stories to come yet. Well, this one story, told 3 (?) more times. A final bit is shoehorned in with Geoff's daughter, although they dropped that in favour of another apprentice story. And alas, more Jigsaw, not shutting the fuck up from beyond the grave. It's a shame that Amanda buys it in this episode, since I'd much rather have followed her in future instalments than I would (??????)* It's a bit of a mess, but still watchable enough and not yet buried beneath the heaps of horseshit and lazy flashback fuckery that would follow.

Enjoy those 3/5 screaming Scream Queens, Saw fans. It's the most you'll be seeing in a very long time - until maybe (but probably not) Saw 3D. Next up is Jigsaw's autopsy, (?) (?) and (?) followed by a twist. From this point onwards, it's all a blur.

* I actually don't know his name. And I physically don't care enough to check the IMDB.


  1. His name is Hoffman :).

    I actually dug Saw 3, especially more than 4 which was just a convoluted, and frankly FUCKING CONFUSING mess.

  2. I need to watch the Saw films again I think, there's been so many I can't remember which is which and what happens in 3,4,5...

  3. its not the mourning that Jigsaw sees as distasteful, it's the way that its taken over his life so much that its ruining the lives of his remaining family. This whole point is explained in a further twist, when Jeff hears Jigsaw say he will come face to face with the man responsible for the loss of his child he is so obsessed with his son's death and so consumed by hatred at those involved that he immediately assumes Jigsaw means Timothy whom he meets in the rack trap. But Timothy was never meant to be Jeff's last trap, Jigsaw himself was. Everytime Jigsaw says the man responsible for the loss of your child, he is talking about himself, not Timothy. Jeff doesn't even bother to think that it might be his daughter that is in danger, someone he could actually have a chance to save, because he's still so engrossed in his son's death...Jigsaw's message is potent, grief is a horrific thing, but we shouldn't let it consume us and ruin our relationships with the rest of our family. If you note, the person Jeff wakes up with at the beginning of the film isn't his wife, at least, it doesn't look like probably is knowing my memory though lol. but yeah, Jigsaw isn't complaining about mourning, he's stating that there is a mourning period, and he is attempting to help Jeff overcome his grief, for the sake of the rest of his family. Jeff only discovers this far too late...x

  4. Aye, I did get that, thanks. Guess I'm just not a fan of Saw's brand O' philosophy, and feel taht there are people more worthy of the Puppet treatment than a grieving father of all people. Cheers though, good to hear a different opinion on things 'round here.