Upon waking up, killer Kirby sets about murdering a whole bunch of people. What follows will seem awfully familiar to fans of Slash, but with more Chuck Norris than we're used to. The closest us slasher fanboys get to kung-fu is usually Busta Rhymes in Halloween: Resurrection. So to see Norris beating some slasher ass is a nice little treat. It's just a shame that the Killer isn't quite as iconic as his foe. He doesn't even have a mask.
But before all that, there's a bit of a love story, much ado about the morals of Frankenstein science, and a silly subplot in which Stevens takes on a gang of bikers. Occasionally, director Michael Miller decides to chuck in the odd scene in which Kirby murders a hapless passer by. It's like three or four movies in one, all fighting against one another for supremacy.
When they finally find the time, Sheriff Stevens and Kirby tussle for a bit. Stevens plugs Kirby full of lead, tosses him through a window and beats several shades of hell outta the poor Myers-wannabe. Upon realising that it's a fight that can't be won, Stevens gets bored and tosses his opponent down a well. The end. Really. Kirby's a guy that can heal from literally any wound, and yet Stevens assumes dropping him down a well will kill him. Out of sight, out of mind I suppose. Silent Rage sets itself up for a sequel, but none ever came. Not particularly surprising, since Silent Rage isn't Norris at his best. He's not even at full beard (the moustache, impressive as it might be, doesn't count). The fat deputy character is annoying, and too much time is spent on Stevens' feud with the bikers. A little more gore wouldn't have gone amiss, and I'd have liked to see the twosome's battle be somewhat more epic perhaps.
Still, it makes for diverting viewing should you fancy a little Slash with your Chuck Norris (or vice versa). The very 80s' era sci-fi stuff works well, and the fight scenes between Stevens and Kirby are pretty fun once they get going, even if I was expecting something a little more gruesome and OTT. When all is said and done, it's a Chuck Norris slasher movie. For that, it earns itself infinite kudos.
Fun fact: those aren't credits that roll at the end of Silent Rage. That's a list of Norris-related fatalities that occured during the making of the movie.
Ultimately, Silent Rage scores a record
*Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talking about.
Don't forget about the random karate scene in Pieces! Classic stuff!
ReplyDeleteGreat review, but I find it difficult to comment as I look up and see Chuck pointing two Uzis at my face. I better go before he shots me.
Not seen that one. I'll have to check it out. Thanks!
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