Quarantine 2: Terminal

Director: John Pogue (2011)

Starring: Mercedes Masohn, Josh Cook, Mattie Liptak

Find it: IMDB

Never work with children or animals, goes the old adage. And don't allow them anywhere near your zombie movie either. Children render Quarantine 2 nearly unwatchable, whilst animals make it ridiculous. Terminally so. Get it, because terminal means 'fatal' as well as being a place where you wait for your flight. Quarantine 2: Terminal is about a terminal illness (in a manner of speaking) and is set in an airport terminal. That title is the hardest work anyone put into writing Quarantine 2.

An aeroplane full of dipshits takes off from LA (where the first Quarantine was set) with a hold full of rage-infected gerbils in tow. One of the gerbils gets free and bites a passenger, unleashing human rabies upon the aeroplane. Panicked, the pilot lands the plane, whereupon the action spreads out onto a quarantined airport terminal. Quarantine 2 is a Die Hard 2 kind of sequel, except Die Hard 2 actually did its predecessor justice. Quarantine 2 does nobody any justice. Except for the [REC] films, which it makes look even better by comparison.

Unimpeded by the constraints of remaking [REC], this sequel is very much its own thing. Where [REC] 2 stayed within the confines of the zombie-ridden apartment complex, Quarantine 2 flees elsewhere and disposes of the handheld cameras. The former sequel explained the zombie virus in a fascinating, original way. The latter takes the cheapest, laziest route available. Human rabies indeed.

It also has you rooting for the zombies thanks to a collection of horrible, annoying characters. Choice of lead character is between a useless air hostess, the idiot who caused it all and a kid called George who looks like a chubby Justin Bieber. I actually had to watch the last ten minutes with the volume turned down, so bad was the acting. Quarantine 2 loses a Screaming Scream Queen thanks to the continued presence of George (Liptak) alone. Little fucker effectively ruins the film. [REC] wasn't afraid to eviscerate a child or two. Quarantine 2 take note; little fucking George should have been eviscerated as soon as the zombie apocalypse began.

The rest of the characters are a dull collection of stereotypes and assorted flavours of cannon fodder. There's the sweet old lady, the guy who just wants to get home to his kid, the asshole, the guy on his way to a job interview, the holidaying foreign couple and an old guy in a wheelchair. To be fair, it was funny when the rat jumped on the old guy's head. Talking of funny: the illness is passed on by a cat eating an infected person's vomit off've the floor. Also, there's an obese guy on the aeroplane who gets really really angry and starts foaming at the mouth:

Spoiler: he goes home and writes a really angry blog about it.

Quarantine 2 would be good if it wasn't for the horrible child and the stupid animals. There's some fun gore, a couple of decent shocks and some nice zombie effects, but you'd be better off by simply watching the [REC] films again. Quarantine 2 is bad. Terminally so.