11. Avatar

Director: James Cameron (2009)

Starring: Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Sigourney Weaver

Find it: IMDB

Space marines are unleashed upon the faraway world of Pandora, where a futuristic fuel source is protected by seven-foot tall blue aliens called Na'avi. Paraplegic marine Jake Sully (Worthington) takes the place of his dead brother on a mission that involves him wearing the body of a specially grown Na'avi and dancing around all over the treetops of Pandora. But Jake gets in too deep with the Na'avi, begins to sympathise with their hippy cause and even falls in love with Neytiri (Saldana).

I have no problem with the people who say that Avatar is a technically amazing movie. It really is incredible; a beautiful exercise in world building. What I do take umbrage with is the people who insist that Avatar is a good movie. It isn't. It's Pocahontas and Dancing With Wolves with giant blue aliens. It looks very pretty but has a story every bit as stupid as a blockbuster by Michael Bay or Brett Ratner. Space marines go to a faraway world called Pandora looking for an element called Unobtainium. Pandora. Unobtainium. This is not good screenwriting people. The scientists who found and named Pandora and Unobtainium must have been real pessimists.

Jake falls out of the sky and lands on a dragon and uses it against the evil Colonel Quaritch (Stephen Lang) and his forces. There are big robot suits like the one in Aliens. Sigourney Weaver plays a tough, no-nonsense scientist. The giant blue aliens look stupid. There's a claim that Avatar makes beautifully realistic use of CGI. Avatar does not make beautifully realistic use of CGI. It looks gorgeous and so does the fighting and the aliens, but it always looks like CGI. Even Stephen Lang looks like CGI, and he's apparently a real person.

I liked Avatar as much as it is possible for one to like a three hour remake of Pocahontas with giant blue aliens and magical space elements called 'Unobtainium'.