Kick-Ass

Director: Matthew Vaughn (2010)

Starring: Aaron Johnson, Chloe Moertz, Nicolas Cage, Christopher Mintz-Plasse

Find it online: IMDB

Kick-Ass opens with a scene in which an Armenian fella in a superhero outfit jumps off’ve the roof of a high-rise building. As generally happens when people jump off’ve high-rise buildings, the Armenian fella ends up decidedly quite dead. This is all brought about by the existence of the titular Kick-Ass; a regular Joe student who decides to become a superhero.

Through the Daily Mail’s unbiased, apolitical eyes, we’re led to believe that Kick-Ass the movie will inspire a whole bunch of people jumping off’ve high-rise buildings. Kick-Ass, says the Daily Mail is “shamelessly irresponsible.” Because the cinemagoing public are little more than a flock of sheep idiots, expect to see masses of superheroes wandering the street. Apparently, those who enjoy Kick-Ass are incapable of differentiating fantasy from reality. As I write this review, I’m wearing spandex.

Back up a minute. Dave Lizewski (Johnson) is your typical high-school geek. He enjoys comic books, masturbating and hanging around at the local comic book store. He has friends, but goes largely unnoticed by the world. Inspired by his comic books and his own loneliness, Dave decides to become a superhero. Hey, we’ve all thought about it, right? As generally happens when one takes up such activities in the real world, Dave promptly gets his ass kicked and ends up in hospital. Way to glorify superheroing, Kick-Ass.

After getting thoroughly mashed up, Dave ends up with metal plates in his head and a bunch more fitted to his skeleton. Because Dave’s the consummate nerd, he immediately makes the Wolverine comparison. His nerve endings are fried too, meaning that Dave can take a hell of a beating before he finally drops. And over the course of Kick-Ass, Dave takes a great many beatings. Anyone who watches Kick-Ass and is inspired is an idiot. Kick-Ass and his imitators are all idiots, and the movie hammers this point home with every set piece. Anyway, Dave manages to save a chap from gang related violence and becomes a Youtube sensation, which sends his career into overdrive.

As the movie progresses, Dave meets more 'heroes' like himself. Namely, Big Daddy (Cage) and Hit Girl (Moertz). Like Batman & Robin crossed with the Punisher, Big Daddy and Hit Girl are everything Dave wants to be: the real deal. He also forms a sort-of alliance with Christopher Mintz-Plasse’s Red Mist. With such role models as Nic Cage and Mintz-Plasse, it’s little wonder the Mail are worried. Kick-Ass might just bring about an apocalypse of Nic Cage and McLovin imitators.

Despite the fact that Kick-Ass is the most evil movie ever made, it's my favourite comic book film since The Dark Knight and my favourite movie of 2010 so far. The story resembles the first two Spider-man flicks, but without any of the sequel's crushing dullness. The characters are all likeable and well-realised, so much so that you're behind Dave every step of the way. It's helped no end by a funny, witty script and excellent performances from most of the actors involved.

Yeah, I said most. Now, I'm a massive Nic Cage apologist, but his performance in Kick-Ass does nothing for me. He's channelling Adam West's Batman in his scenes as Big Daddy, but it never seems to really gel. Perhaps it would've made more sense to have him deliver a more gruff, Christian Bale style performance, since Big Daddy resembles that more than he does the West era Batman. Whatever, it's still worth it for his bizarre screaming and Wicker Man style hollering during the final half.

That said, I love his relationship with Hit-Girl as it's presented in the movie. Unlike Millar's comic, you get a genuine sense of father/daughter love, and it's this cute characterisation throughout that makes the movie work as well as it does. Even the ostensible bad guy (played by Mark Strong) is equal parts family man and tough guy.

Kick-Ass is such an awesome movie that I could write much more than I already have on how much and why I love it. The soundtrack is wonderful; reminiscent of a Tarantino production, and the cinematography is excellent. I love the costumes. I love Big Daddy & Hit Girl's origins segment. The fight scenes are masterfully done. I love the multitude of comic book references and geekery. I want to adopt Chloe Moertz. To be fair to the Daily Mail, Kick-Ass did make me want to become a superhero: but then, I'm an idiot.

If I have any quibbles, then it's with the way the final quarter or so is handled. It's one of the craziest and frenetic gunfights I've ever seen, but the realism aspect kinda goes out the window, and there's less emphasis on character than I'd have liked. But it works in its own way, and it leaves things open for an entirely welcome sequel.

That said, Kick-Ass is the most evil movie ever made and should definitely be banned. After all, it glorifies paedophilia (because every paedophile's fantasy is a foulmouthed gunslinging 10-year-old girl who carries a samurai sword), encourages people to jump off've buildings and probably mugged your nan to help cover the budget. I'm sure it was indirectly responsible for getting Princess Diana killed too. Just go read their review. It's infinitely more entertaining than anything I could ever hope to write.

You should definitely watch Kick-Ass now. And pay for it too, you torrent streaming cheapskates. Firstly, because I want that sequel made. But most importantly, because Kick-Ass pisses the Daily Mail off.