List: 10 not-sexy vampires

Well, I was gonna write some actual words to go with the actual list, but I think it probably speaks for itself. Everything but the top 3 is more or less interchangeable... And remember, vampires don't fucking sparkle.

10: Leslie Neilson's Dracula in Dracula: Dead & Loving it

9: Grampa in The Munsters

8: Fat Pearl in Blade

7: Nosferatu in Nosferatu

6: Tarantino in From Dusk Till Dawn

5: Mr. Burns in one of the Treehouses of Horror

4: The Master in Buffy the Vampire Slayer

3: Nicolas Cage in Vampire's Kiss

2: Robert Pattinson in Twilight (note: picture below may not actually be from Twilight and could might possibly definitely have been chosen out of context just to prove the author's point).

1: Tom Cruise.


  1. you forgot one ^_^ the master vampire in Lost Boys

  2. Here's another one for you: Radu from 'Subspecies.' I don't think that even his ugly mother would kiss that mug.

    As a bonus, you could also include smoking Bill Paxton from 'Near Dark.'