The FrightFest Digest 2015

As anyone who is unlucky to follow me on social media will know (you're not missing much - self-promotion and live tweeting of really old Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes mostly), this year I attended London FrightFest on behalf of the wonderful Starburst Magazine. I saw a lot of films while I was there - twentysomething in total - and spoke to some pretty great people. The festival is a wonderful experience; a celebration of all things horror, new and old. Not for nothing is it described as 'The Dark Heart of Cinema.'

Highlights include the riotous Deathgasm, seasonal anthology movies A Christmas Horror Story and Tales of Halloween, creepfest Slumlord, the dark and brutal Bait, and the mesmerising Curtain. I saw some not-so-good movies too, but the great by far outweighs the rubbish. The same applies to these reviews, I hope.

A Christmas Horror Story - The most fun I've had with a Christmas movie while sweating my balls off in late August.

Awaiting (Starburst version) - Diana Vickers (yes, that one) is Tony Curran's daughter in this surprisingly bleak backwoods horror movie.

Awaiting (Horrortalk version) - Same synopsis, same score, different review.

Awaiting - Interview with Diana Vickers - She wore shoes throughout the whole interview. And was lovely.

Bait - Paddy from Emmerdale's fantastically dark Loan Shark Em' Up.

Bite -  Ew, on several levels.

Body (Horrortalk version) Oh shit, a dead body! Drunk girls try to tidy up a mess at Christmastime.

Body (Starburst version) - Take II.

Cherry Tree - Daffy as fuck, like The Witches crossed with Juno, plus body horror, burlap sacks and centipedes.

Curtain - The best horror movie about a shower curtain you will ever see,

Deathgasm - I laughed so hard I spilled my beer on my lap.

Demonic - Dull Blumhouse supernatural horror story crossed with equally dull police procedural. You know the type.

Hangman - Found footage, but good.

Howl (Horrortalk version) - The most fun werewolf horror since Dog Soldiers.

Howl (Starburst version) - Take II.

Inner Demon - A girl sits in a cupboard while the plot of a horror movie happens around her.

Landmine Goes Click - Technically proficient, terribly unpleasant sustained rape shit. I wish I had not watched that.

Night Fare - The Punisher meets Maniac Cop in a taxi.

The Nightmare - Don't have nightmares. Rodney Ascher would really, really like that.

Night of the Living Deb - Shaun of the Dead meets Bridesmaids.

Road Games - Too slow and melodramatic for me, although the final act livens things up.

Slumlord - Scummy take on One Hour Photo with a creep antagonist to rival The Human Centipede's Martin.

Some Kind of Hate - Smart and powerful: an angry It Follows.

Suspension -  Predictable Halloween rip-off with a twist which ruins everything.

Tales of Halloween - Finds the anthology movie in rude health. Neil Marshall's killer pumpkin tale is a highlight.

Tales of Halloween - Interview with Axelle Carolyn & Neil Marshall

Turbo Kid - Adorable, hilarious, and so very bloody. Michael Ironside is having a ball, and so did I.

We Are Still Here - Gentle yet effective horror with surprisingly shocking violence, beautiful retro violence and Barbara Crampton.

And so it ends. Until next year, anyway. Thanks to Starburst Magazine and Horrortalk.com for having me, and hosting my opinions (even the stupid ones). And thank you to Film4 FrightFest for yet another bumper year of treats and goodies. 2016 can't come fast enough.

Unfriended

Director: Levan Gabriadze (2014)

Starring: Heather Sossaman, Matthew Bohrer, Courtney Halverson

Find it: IMDB

As I rapidly approach what will be my thirtieth birthday - hello grey hairs and groaning whenever I sit down or stand up - I find myself feeling increasingly out of touch with the 'kids' and their antics in the movies I watch. Case in point, Unfriended, which is best described as a series of conversations between dickheads on Skype, Facebook and iMessage. Watching this felt like that one time I accidentally stumbled upon a sibling's MSN chat history, or my morning commute to work, where I often find myself surrounded by vapid imbeciles and their social media.

It won't appear on (m)any 'best of' lists come the end of the year, but if it's superlatives you're looking for, Unfriended might just be the most annoying horror film of 2015. Its squad of chums are the ones getting terrorised, but I was left feeling like the ultimate victim - trapped in a Skype conversation that just won't shut down with arseholes who just won't shut up.

Most of my least favourite sounds in the world are social media related - the Skype ringtone - Facebook notifications - anything that tells me I have a 'new message' - (make of that what you will, and stop talking to me) so Unfriended was always going to set me on edge. The rest tipped me over it, from the pre-horror banter to the hysterical screaming and wailing which comes during (although I did cheer during at least two murders). 'Why don't they put down the camera?' is a question I've always asked of found footage. Here I find myself begging that they hang up Skype and turn the fucking thing off.  Kids and their technology, I guess.

This all being ghost vengeance for a cyberbullying crime which ended in a girl killing herself. It's a very real issue and, frankly, the movie does a great job of selling just how awful cyberbullies are. In that respect, Unfriended is a resounding success. It commits to its concept and it commits hard; unlike the (far superior) The Den and (wacky but still better) Open Windows, there's no cheating - the entire thing takes place in real time, on one person's desktop. I don't like it (Facebook reference) but there's a surprising amount of respect there, for a movie I hated every single moment of.