Hit and Run

Director: Enda McCallion (2009)
Starring: Laura Breckenridge, Kevin Corrigan, Christopher Shand
Find it online: IMDB, Amazon UK, Amazon US

A silly pisshead accidentally murders a bipolar kindergarten teacher with her obscenely large Humvee, then buries the body out in the woods. Bipolar kindergarten teacher comes back for revenge. Hijinks ensue.

Hit and Run: AKA I couldn’t give a fuck what you did last summer is a damning indictment of both teenagers and Humvees. The whole thing plays like an episode of My Super Sweet Sixteen, only with a little more blood and gore than one would expect.

Mary (Laura Breckenridge) is utterly impossible to like. She’s a drink-driving, Humvee crashing, murdering, idiotic, unthinking lump of stupid who generally deserves everything she has coming to her. Not content with splattering her victim, Emser (Kevin Corrigan) all over the underside of her enormous car, she then proceeds to beat the shit out of his half-dead ass with a golf club. Mary disposes of Emser in a (very) shallow grave (using the ingeniously combined forces of a stick, her bare hands and a frisbee) and then heads home to confess to her boyfriend (Christopher Sand) and for a wee mental breakdown.

Much of Hit and Run: AKA Stuck 2 is incredibly boring. Mary spends most of the first half of the movie either creeping around her own empty home or whimpering like an idiot. She spends the midsection of the movie covered in mud, blood or water (this part plays out like some sort of muddy, gloopy fetish video) and screaming a lot. The final part of the movie is spent tied to the bumper of her own Humvee, thankfully with duct tape all over her idiotic face, saving us from any more of her whimpering or screaming.

Bipolar kindergarten teacher is, admittedly, an effective villain, and – once the movie shifts from suspense to all-out horror – the final quarter of the movie is pretty cool. The gore effects are decent throughout, and the film is thankfully short enough to not outstay its welcome by too much.

Despite its obvious flaws, Hit and Run is average enough to warrant at least one viewing. Just be sure to watch all the bits in which Mary is onscreen alone on fast-forward.

2/5 screaming Scream Queens!!