28. Star Trek: Insurrection


Director: Jonathan Frakes (1998)
Starring: Patrick Stewart, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner
Find it: IMDB

This is what happens when you let Riker direct a Star Trek movie. Headless Data, stupid aliens, an even stupider plot and Mister Worf singing Gilbert & Sullivan. There's a theory that all of the even numbered Star Trek movies are good and the odd numbered ones are shit. Insurrection is indeed kind of shit and it does indeed follow a good installment (that'd be First Contact, also directed by Jonathan Frakes). However, Nemesis is terrible too, so stick that in your space pipe and smoke it. A better rule of thumb would be that the Next Generation crew are simply a bit dull.

The crew of the Enterprise discover a magic planet that helps its inhabitants to stay eternally young. Captain Picard (Stewart) and his merry band of space travellers discover a Federation plot to steal the planet from under its natives' noses. Picard being a massive space stickler, he decides to save the natives from the evil foreigners. Later, in the movie's most disturbing scene, Riker (Frakes) shaves off his beard and gets jiggy with Counselor Troi (Marina Sirtis) in a bathtub.

Insurrection is the Star Trek movie that most resembles an episode of the TV series. That's not entirely a criticism; it's a fun and funny film, as silly and inconsequential as it might feel. Whilst it's probably the weakest of The Next Generation movies, it's also the most fun. The cheerful, adventurous tone is preferable to the stupid, moody Nemesis with rapey Tom Hardy. But as a result, Insurrection is the installment least approachable to non-Trekkies. But hey, if there's one thing us Trekkies don't need, it's friends.

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