The Wraith

"Who was that guy?"

"I dunno, but he's weird and ticked off."

Director: Mike Marvin (1986)

Starring: Charlie Sheen, Nick Cassavetes, Sherilyn Fenn, Randy Quaid

Find it: IMDB, Amazon

Charlie Sheen (Sheen) is murdered by teenage yobs and returns as the mystical Wraith to enact his vicious revenge. Revenge which involves driving around in a totally sci-fi black car, terrorising people and blasting shit with a shotgun. Also, picking up chicks and wearing bad 1980s clothes. All in a day's work for Charlie Sheen.

Charlie Sheen has made roughly four good movies (which is still a better batting everage than brother Emilio Estevez). This is not one of those good movies. It's like Death Proof if it had been made twenty years ago and starred Charlie Sheen. Or Night Rider, if it had starred Charlie Sheen. It's like Grease if... well, if Grease had starred Charlie Sheen. The TV networks always seem to show this movie late at night on BBC1, and every time I'm fooled into watching it by the synopsis. I mean, how can Charlie Sheen returning from the dead to run people over with a Night Rider car not be awesome? Well I suppose it is fairly awesome, but only ironically.

There are such American staples of the 1980s as roller-skate burger joints, illegal street races and swimming holes. Kids wear bandanas and say things like "he ain't cool!" and treat their girlfriends like pieces of meat. As our hero, Charlie Sheen is fine enough. He plays the same character he usually does, only a little bit younger and (probably) less stoned. Randy Quaid is in it too, as the town's sheriff, but not even he is particularly memorable here. The yobs of the piece are amusingly trashy, particularly the one fellow who looks like the Kim-Jong Il puppet from Team America.

As a horror movie, The Wraith fails. The 18 rating seems daft, since there's hardly any violence, gore and not all that much nudity to speak of. There's more T&A in an average episode of Two And A Half Men (one would imagine. Not that I've ever watched Two And A Half Men. Ahem). All the good bits are in the trailer. And the only good bit in the trailer is the part with the shotgun.

The Wraith is enjoyable in an ironic 1980s sort of way, but not very much so otherwise. If you want to see some truly entertaining Charlie Sheen antics, just go watch the news.