The Discovery Channel are doing their yearly "shark week" thing, although every other programme seems to be about sharks on that channel anyway. I suppose this means that there just won't be any programmes about Nazis about to interrupt the shark documentaries. Nevertheless, this lazy hack writer smells a list coming on. Twilighters beware, there will be no Taylor Lautner on this list. At least not until he gets his head bitten off by a Great White.
10. Batman vs Shark - Batman: The Movie
9. Shark - Shark.
8. The Shark that Eats Samuel Motherfucking L Jackson - Deep Blue Motherfucking Sea.
7. Bruce the Shark - Finding Nemo. I'm running out here. Determined not to resort to Shark Tale though.
6. Hammerhead - Spider-man. I'm not entirely sure that having a really flat head is a super power as such, but y'know.
5. That one good joke in My Super Ex Girlfriend
4. Sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads - Austin Powers
3. Mega Shark - Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus
2. Shark vs Zombie - Zombi 2. An outstanding movie idea in its own right, relegated to one minor scene in a movie that was itself pretty good anyway. Wasted idea though.
1. Jaws - Jaws. Obviously. Happy Shark Week, if such a thing exists and doesn't sound stupid. It does, doesn't it? Sound stupid, that is. Well happy Shark Week, anyway.
Can I take a moment to say how much I adore Deep Blue Motherfucking Sea? It's genius. And not just the sharks... but the casting of Sam Jackson and LL Cool J. Genius.
ReplyDeleteDeep Blue Sea is a gem. But don't forget about Thomas Jane. I love me some Tom Jane.
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