The Horror Bloggers Meme

Thanks to Billy Loves Stu for putting this out there. As we all know, I can't resist an oldschool myspace-style questionnaire; even more so when it happens to be horror related. So I done thought I'd add mine to the growing legion of horror blogs who are reposting this.

1: In Ten Words or Less, Describe Your Blog:

- Badly-written reviews, sleaze, stupidity; overuse of the word 'shitty'.

2: During What Cinematic Era Where you Born?
A: The Classic Horror Era (late 30's to 40's)
B: The Atomic Monster/Nuclear Angst Era (the late 40's through 50's)
C: The Psycho Era ( Early 60's)
D: The Rosemary's Baby Era (Mid to Late 60's)
E: The Exorcism Era (Early to mid 70's)
F: The Halloween Era (Late 70's to Early 80's)
G: The Slasher Era (Mid to late 80's)
H: The Self Referential/Post Modern Era (1990 to 1999)

- The slasher era. The year of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, to be specific.

3: The Carrie Compatibility Question:
(gay men and straight women - make your choice from section A)
A: Billy Nolan or Tommy Ross, who would you take to the prom?
(straight guys and lesbians - make your choice from section B)
B: Sue Snell or Chris Hargensen, who would you take to the prom?

- Chris Hargensen. I know she's supposed to be a bit of a bitch, but I'm a sucker for blondes. And besides, the trick with the bucket and the blood was pretty funny.

4: You have been given an ungodly amount of money, and total control of a major motion picture studio - what would your dream Horror project be?

- I would remake 'Twilight' and kill all the idiots off in the opening five minutes. Sparkletits bashing aside, I'd probably adapt one of my own terrible scripts (reworked by Tarantino or something), then hire Bruce Campbell, Timothy Olyphant and Juliette Lewis. And so The Greatest Horror Movie Ever (probably a Hills Have Eyes rip-off of some sort) is born. Of course, it'd lose loads of money and I'd never work again. But at least I tried.

5: What horror film "franchise" that others have embraced, left you cold?

- Anything Saw related. The first one was overrated, the second and third were tolerable. Everything thereafter sucks massive stinky horse balls.

6: Is Michael Bay the Antichrist?

- Naaaaaah. Have you seen The Rock? Transformers 2 and The Island aside, I generally quite like a bit of Bay. There, I said it.

7: Dracula, The Wolf Man, The Frankenstein Monster - which one of these classic villains scares you, and why?

- None of them really scare me, although Kenneth Branagh's Frankenstein did make me cry when I was 10.

8: Tell me about a scene from a NON HORROR Film that scares the crap out of you:

- Again, I've not seen it since I was a kid, but I remember being totally creeped out in The Elephant Man when Merrick is chased by that mob. For shame, humanity.

9: Baby Jane Hudson invites you over to her house for lunch. What do you bring?

- Potato salad and bottles of cider.

10: So, between you and me, do you have any ulterior motives for blogging? Come, on you can tell me, it will be our little secret, I won't tell a soul.

- I just want to be liked SADFACE :-( No, I write because I enjoy it and hope one day to do it on a semi-professional basis.

11: What would you have brought to Rosemary Woodhouse's baby shower?

-Gold, frankinsence and myhrr. And a dictionary so I can learn to spell frankenscense.

12: Godzilla vs The Cloverfield Monster, who wins?

- Godzilla, but only if we're talking the proper version and not that stupid Ferris Beuller thing. I'm not sure how he'd win, but he'd blatantly would, because he's the original Cloverfield.

13: If you found out that Rob Zombie was reading your blog, what would you post in hopes that he read it?

- Reviews of every single one of his terrible, terrible movies.

14: What is your favorite NON HORROR FILM, and why?

- Too many to count. Are we calling Dead Man's Shoes non-horror? Because probably that, if we are. Otherwise, take a stand Grease and The Unforgiven. And because they're good, why not.

15: If blogging technology did not exist, what would you be doing?

- Writing movie reviews in my own faeces on the walls of pub toilets and hanging around the local HMV shouting "ROB ZOMBIE'S HALLOWEEN IS TEH SUCKS" at the top of my voice, whilst scowling furiously at anyone in a Team Edward t-shirt.

Thanks again to Billy Loves Stu. I had a blast.