The Forgotten

Director: Joseph Ruben (2004)
Starring: Julianne Moore, Christopher Kovaleski, Gary Sinise , Dominic West
Find it online: IMDB, Amazon UK, Amazon US

Stupid mundane psychothriller silliness becomes something completely different (but no less asinine) at the introduction of perhaps the most ridiculous twist this side of an M. Night Shyamalan flick. The Review Hole usually avoids spoilers, but nobody should ever want to watch The Forgotten anyway - and 90% of those who try will nevertheless have given up by the time the ending comes about.

If you haven't seen The Forgotten, go read the synopsis (woman's child apparently dies. Everyone around her claims that the kid never existed in the first place). Now think up the stupidest explanation you possibly can for said disappearance & conspiracy. All finished? Well done, The Forgotten is even stupider than that. Aside from a Tyrannosaurus Rex showing up and vomiting the brat onto Julianne Moore's grieving lap, The Forgotten delivers up the stupidest concievable ending in all of reality: it was aliens what done it.

"The goddamn truth won't fit in your brain,", Moore is told. Which is kinda insulting to her character, because the goddamn truth is such lazy schtick that it'd fit in even Paris Hilton's brain with room to spare. Well, probably not. But nearly. Didn't you know, aliens are apparently really really interested in the bond between mother & child. I guess anal probes have gotten old hat by now. There aren't nearly enough anal probes in The Forgotten, just Julianne Moore running around with a stupid character name, looking all miserable and paranoid. Moore is a likeable actress, but The Forgotten does her no favours. She has little do but cry and run.

Even before that ridiculous twist, The Forgotten is probably a terrible movie. I say 'probably' because I can't actually remember anything that comes before the big reveal. Gary Sinise and Dominic West are involved somehow, and Julianne Moore's character name is 'Telly'. There's a decent car crash, but it's wasted somewhere amongst the stupidity and dullness of everything else. It's all just a hazy mess wrapped up in a ridiculous twist, like that dream I had after watching Star Trek, Babestation and feasting on cheese & Baileys. Well then, I suppose that the title is perfectly apt. By the way, The X Files called - they want their story back.