Evil Women: my favourite lady horror icons


In honour of women in horror month.

10. The Ladies of Summersisle (Wicker Man, 2006) - Yes, I'm taking the piss a little. But hey, they did burn Nicolas Cage alive and steal his self-help tapes. Harsh.

9. Carrie (um, Carrie) - Maybe a little too sympathetic to be a proper villain - and certainly not an 'evil woman' - but she did kill a fuckload of people; including John Travolta. Considering how he treated Olivia Newton John in that film about the grease, I'm surprised it hadn't happened sooner, to be honest.

8. Jenifer (Masters of Horror, Jenifer) - The second-most disturbing Masters of Horror episode (top marks go to Takashi Miike's effort), Dario Argento's Jenifer sees Steven Weber answer an age old question; if a chick had a really, really hot body but a really, really fugly head, would you still fuck her? Steven Weber definitely would. After saving her from a murderous loon, cop Frank Spivey takes hideously face-disabled Jenifer into his care. He's understandably preturbed when she starts eating cats and children, and chases his wife away. But she's really good at sex, so he decides to stick with it.

7. Mother (Psycho) - "They fuck you up, your mom and dad." And by gosh, Mama Bates had quite the effect on Norman's formative years, turning him into the stabby loon we all know and love. Impressive work, for someone who's been dead for a fair few years.

6. Henrietta (Evil Dead II) - Yes, another bloke in drag. Watch for the bit near the end where Henrietta's armpit leaks a bucketload of sweat. If they ever decide to make a movie of Susan Boyle's life, it'll probably resemble the Henrietta scenes in Evil Dead II.

5. Mrs. Ganush (Drag me to Hell) - Resembles Ted Raimi, but isn't actually played by the fella. Possibly the grisliest of the ladies on this list, what with her penchants for squirting bodily fluids everywhere and getting battered with a stapler.

4. Pamela Voorhees (Friday the 13th) - Naw, not the Nana Visitor version (boringly beheaded before the credits were even finished) but rather the hairy-handed lady who killed Kevin Bacon and a campful of partying kids. Jason Voorhees is the better, more established horror icon; but don't forget he owes everything to mummy dearest.

3. The Alien Queen (Aliens) - She rips Lance Henrikssen in half, before going one-on-one with Sigourney Weaver's Ripley. Hardcore. There was another Alien Queen in Resurrection, but that was fucking stupid and she died only moments later.

2. Annie Wilkes (Misery) - Kathy Bates rightfully won an Oscar for her portrayal of uber-fan Annie Wilkes in Misery. Unlike many of the ladies on this list, Annie is an imposing figure straight off the bat. Nowhere near being nominated for anything, ever (well, maybe a razzie): any of the Homecoming lot.

1. Asami (Audition) - Ouch. A previously sweet but dry romantic drama becomes something entirely different in the movie's second act, which will give twattish men everywhere nightmares. The torture scenes may not last very long, but they're bloody traumatic. Once seen, never forgotten.

3 comments:

  1. Fantastic list. I might argue that setting Nick Cage on fire is an act of heroism, but whatever. Love that you included the Alien Queen and Henrietta--that Susan Boyle comment had everyone around me wondering what the hell was so goddamn funny at 8:30 in the morning.

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  2. Oh, Asami...I have a secret love for her. I would hate to upset her, but at the same time, I would love for her to show up in that little S&M nurse's uniform that she wore so well.

    Kiri kiri kiri kiri kiri!
    --J/Metro

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  3. Im so happy to see Jenifer finally get some love, she gets tread on by so many reviewers but I felt that was easily one of the best MOH episodes, and with enough paper bags, she could be the perfect woman!

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