Scar 3D


Director: Jed Weintrob (2007)
Starring: Angela Bettis, Kirby Bliss Banton, Christopher Titus
Find it online: IMDB, Amazon UK

By far one of the best examples of everything that’s wrong with modern horror cinema, Scar is an execrable piece of torture bullshit that’s about as much fun as being strapped to a bed whilst a crazy type does unmentionable things to you.

Angela Bettis stars as Joan, the survivor of a particularly harrowing torture session which saw her best friend die at the hands of a Beret-wearing, scalpel wielding loon. Years later, she returns to her hometown to visit her brother (local cop Jeff) and niece. Before you can say “horror cliché” teens start to go missing, and it looks as if there’s a psycho on the loose again. Is her tormentor back from the dead? Is there a copycat killer about? Or is Joan going crazy? A similar story which was told reasonably well in My Bloody Valentine is completely cack-handed here, thanks to inept direction, crappy acting and interminable scenes of near-unwatchable torture guff.

If you get your rocks off by watching teenage girls having their various bits lopped off, chances are you need help. Oh, and you’ll also love Scar. Everyone else, meanwhile, will either be bored by the constant screaming and squirting or utterly disgusted; this seasoned reviewer was a heady mix of both. Aside from the torture scenes, everything else is by-the-numbers, predictable and stupid. It’s as if they filmed the nasty bits first and then padded it out with whatever ‘plot’ the writers could be bothered to plagiarise from elsewhere.

Scar: the only 3d film that's actually better if you watch it without the glasses. Or eyes. Or at all.

The acting ranges from passable to horrible. Bettis is on whimpering/traumatised autopilot, whilst Christopher Titus, as her brother, distracts everyone from his bad acting by looking like Michael Beihn a lot. The teenagers are all universally terrible.

How stupid is Scar? In the final beat of the movie, Joan enters a room in which she finds her niece strapped to a table; her mouth duct taped shut. She sets about untying the poor girl, but doesn’t bother to remove the tape (“shut up, I’m trying to untie you”), thereby allowing the killer to get the drop on her.

It was filmed in 3D, by the way, which grants Scar an extra dimension of stupid.

I'D RATHER HAVE MY TONGUE CUT OUT WITH A SCALPEL THAN WATCH THIS FETID SHITE AGAIN/5

4 comments:

  1. Wow...I can't believe I've never heard of this movie. 3-D never, EVER works on home TV screens. What a waste of money.
    -Billy

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  2. Damn it, Billy! I wanted to comment on this one and you beat me to the punch! Great picture on this one. Really enjoying the blog, Porkhead!

    JM

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  3. Cheers for the comments chaps! Yeah, 3D sucks on home cinema.... I'll admit to looking forward to seeing how 'My Bloody Valentine 09' works out on DVD, but I won't hold my breath!

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  4. then I guess I owe you a tongue, mate, cuz i enjoyed this film...and I watched it ten times already! (The weird part is, it gets better each time...)

    i suck...

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